What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

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How did you know you weren't the narc?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Is it possible to permanently quit pornography?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why do some people dislike Gilmore girls?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I committed the unpardonable sin. God immediately punished me so that I can no longer think like before and my brain is as if paralyzed and does not work. I've tried everything (confession, repentance, etc.) nothing helps. Any advice?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Ok, so this is a question seeking an answer to clear up whatever gymnastics are in my head. I'm a moderately attractive guy, sincere heart, genuinely looking to love another, established. Why don't women that I'm attracted to, want me back?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why are leftist movements so popular among young people?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Which city should one visit between Nice and Cannes? Why?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why is the band Nickelback unliked so much?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why is India lagging behind China in economic development when India is a democracy while China isn’t?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What is your opinion? I am 150-152 and I feel short. I’m 15 years old. I feel like this makes me look like a baby and ugly on most clothes.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?